In the previous episode I spoke about the possibility that depression can become a catalyst to spiritual awakening or even to enlightenment. But what if you feel depressed during or after spiritual awakening? That’s what I’ll talk about in this episode.
First of all, you have to be aware that there’s a big difference between the two kinds of depressions. I know them quite well, because I had my fair share of both. The standard or psychological depression is often chronic, more stable, and usually lasts longer in general. It’s like a long exhausting droning noise that seems to last forever. You don’t remember its beginning and you don’t notice when it goes away, you just realize one day that it’s not there anymore.
This kind of depression is the one that often precedes a spiritual awakening if you’re lucky. But the other kind, the topic at hand, is more spiritual in nature. In contrast to the first one, this comes and goes rapidly, and it’s very unpredictable and erratic. There’s usually a well definable trigger that elicits spiritual depression, which can be a loss, a death, an end of a relationship, a change you can’t easily cope with, or simply a new perspective on life, a sudden insight.
In psychological depression, you feel totally lost, confused and not knowing what to do, while in spiritual depression there’s always some element of guidance. You feel guided towards something, you intuit a meaning behind this feeling but don’t quite know yet what it is. And let me tell you: you are right. Your depression is trying to tell you something and you have to listen to it.
It takes away your motivation because it wants you to stop what you are doing and take a good look at yourself and your life. Until now, you’ve been living a false life out of a false self. Don’t regret that you’re disillusioned, be happy for it! Because you’ve been living in illusion so far, in a deep hypnotic trance, in a long unconscious sleep. Your consciousness is finally starting to awaken from this dream and recognize its illusory nature.
Spiritual depression is an important milestone on the path of your awakening. It makes you question your values, your goals, your beliefs and your identity. You were so certain in everything so far, and now an immense doubt is creeping into your mind. But don’t be afraid of this uncertainty, embrace it! You can only create something new by destroying the old.
You may suddenly realize that you’ve been living among lies up to now. Your parents lied to you, your teachers lied to you, the whole society lied to you. You lied even to yourself, your whole life is just a big lie. You created this false persona little-by-little until it became a mask that solidified on your true face. During depression, you suddenly glimpse this mask in the mirror of consciousness, and realize that this is not who you really are.
With that, you notice your own supressed suffering, and also the suffering of society as a whole. You recognize how dysfunctional, miserable and egoistic society really is, and you recognize these pathological signs on yourself, as well.
In standard depression you feel bad about yourself because you can’t fit into society but you desperately want to. But in spiritual depression, you don’t want to fit in at all because you notice how sick it is. You want to be on a totally different planet, you want to restart your life, or you want to forget everything as it is. Either way, you don’t find your way, you don’t find your place, you don’t find yourself.
The most important difference is that while normal depression is compressive, spiritual depression is expansive. What do I mean by that? In the previous episode, I compared the ego to a plastic bubble you live in that needs constant inflating. A narcissistic person has an over-inflated ego, a healthy ego is inflated to an average size, while a psychologically depressed individual lives in a depressed bubble.
The balloon becomes smaller as your self-esteem shrinks due to your external circumstances; something negative happens that pierces a hole in your ego, and it compresses around your body like a vacuum bag. In contrast, spiritual depression oftentimes has an internal trigger. It’s not that something changes around you, instead you change from the inside.
It’s not that the size of the bubble is shrinking around you. No, your consciousness is expanding and that’s what’s making you uncomfortable. You are growing, and you don’t fit in your old clothes anymore. And I’m not saying that your ego is growing, remember. The bubble stays the same, but your True Self, the one inside, is slowly maturing and awakening.
As your consciousness is expanding, it starts to acknowledge all the repressed emotions, traumas and pains. As the subconscious becomes conscious, you have to face your shadow side; all those denied aspects you kept outside of the bubble so far. What partly makes you depressed are all these toxic feelings bubbling up and coming to the surface so that you can let go of them.
This is all part of a healing process, so you shouldn’t stand in its way. Once you purged yourself of them, it will be over, and they will be gone for good. But it’s necessary to go through this process completely, so the phase of spiritual depression can be concluded, and a new chapter can start in your spiritual awakening process.
As your consciousness expands even further, there can be more instances of this kind of spiritual depression, each with a new dimension. In my case, there were two times I went through this, and each lasted for 3 days, and both were triggered by mind-expanding, perception changing movies.
The first one happened at the very beginning of my spiritual journey, which was the typical disillusionment with society, and the realization of my shadow self. The second one happened quite recently, as I was researching data for my videos in the topic of ecology and environmental protection.
In the first instance, I became conscious of my own ego, and how much human society is ego-driven. But in this recent awakening, my consciousness became one with the consciousness of the Earth, and I suddenly realized how much it is suffering. It’s not only that I became compassionate for Mother Nature, I became the Earth myself, and I felt it as my own suffering.
At the time, both spiritual depressions seemed devastating, but looking back, I can tell you that they were necessary. I am grateful for both, because they transformed my worldview more than anything else, and they inspired me to take positive action and do the right things. Your depression also has a message, just listen to it!
In this free report, I’ll reveal my number one secret to spiritual enlightenment that almost nobody else speaks about. Download it now below, to find out what it is! I can guarantee you, you’ll be surprised!