On the one hand, if many people tell you that you are good, you are quick to believe it. On the other hand, if some people tell you that you are bad, you are reluctant to share their opinion. But if enough people judge you as negative, you will finally believe it. They judge you based on your behavior towards them , which could be positive or negative.
The question is not whether a belief is true or false because ultimately all beliefs are illusory. The question is whether a belief is limiting or liberating. Whether it is immobilizing or empowering. Whether it makes you suffer or makes you happy. Believing that you can’t change your beliefs is also just a belief. And if you can choose, why not choose something that serves you?
If a belief becomes part of your personality, you tend to behave again the same way to reinforce your belief. This is a self-reinforcing cycle that requires effort and awareness to break. When you integrated a personality trait, you keep telling it to yourself and behave accordingly. For example, you don’t talk to girls for some reason, so you deduct that you must be shy. From now on, you think you are shy, and that’s why you don’t talk to girls.
Do you notice how the chain of reasoning changed? This is a comfortable mechanism to avoid change and reinforce your story about yourself. There are two ways to change a personality trait: either change your behavior or change your belief. This week, do a simple exercise and try it! Select two qualities in your personality you want to change.
Changing your behavior will probably be the easier one, so start with this first. Do something you have never done before, something that is outside of your comfort zone, something you wanted to do for a long time, but never dared to actually do it. Gather all your courage, and do it anyway just for the sake of this experiment. Afterwards, look back how this affected what you think about yourself.
Next, change your belief about another one of your personality traits. Hypnosis and affirmations are two of the best tools to use here. For example, listen to a confidence boosting hypnosis audio, and then keep telling yourself over and over again how confident you are. When you really believed it, test your new level of confidence in action, and do something you never dared before.
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