The word pornography comes from Greek, and it literally means a written description or illustration of prostitutes or prostitution. So the next time you’re watching porn, just remind yourself that you’re watching prostitutes. And not only the females, but the males are prostitutes too. If you are not attracted by the idea of having intercourse with a hooker, why would you watch it on the screen?
Because you forget about the fact that they get paid to do it, so it’s not authentic. Most porn actors and actresses wouldn’t accept to be filmed if they had to perform for free. And also let’s not forget that it’s just a performance, but it’s so convincing that you get sucked into the illusion. The same way romantic movies make you emotional, pornography is sexually stimulating for the unconscious mind.
It’s also ironic that in many countries, paying for sex is illegal, but not if you record it and sell it to other people. Thus, when you’re watching porn, you are indirectly taking part in prostitution, and promoting a business that sucks the soul out of not only the porn stars, but from you, as well. If you don’t get turned on by having to pay for sex, why does porn arouse you?
Well, it’s because you remain detached completely from the actors in these movies. You can’t even see them with your eyes really, because what you’re watching are just pixels on your screen changing colors. It’s a total illusion, but you want to get sucked into the illusion, no matter if they’re only acting, no matter if it’s not real, and no matter if you’re conscious of these facts.
Why is it so? Well, the human brain is hardwired for pornography, it has an evolutionary purpose. In paleolithic times, the human population was very sparse, so when you spotted a member of the opposite sex, you were extremely motivated to get aroused, to be ready for action. Biologically, the dopamine level rises, which is a hormone responsible for motivation, in this case, for the motivation to have sex.
Without this sex drive, the human race would have gone extinct a long time ago. It’s also true that the more women a man can impregnate, the more chances his genes have for survival. Accordingly, scientists also discovered that dopamine levels flatten out when having regular sex life with the same partner, but they skyrocket once again when a male gets access to a new partner. Thus, men are predisposed to seek for a variation of possible sexual subjects.
These two natural tendencies didn’t create a problem for thousands of years until the recent explosion of the pornographic industry in the 1960s. The invention of the internet further amplified this boom, and the porn industry itself was the forerunner in the development of the information era. Our ancestors never experienced anything like the power of online porn, it is a 21st century phenomenon.
It is truly something new that with the click of a button, you can get access to a sexually available female, and not just one, but hundreds and thousands of them. This is of course very satisfying to your primitive mind, because your subconscious can’t really tell the difference between reality and illusion. It satisfies both of its needs for sexual imagery and variation.
The moment you look at a porn star, your dopamine level shoots through the roof. And when you switch to another film, it happens again, and then again, and this can go on for hours on end. This leads to a quick over-stimulation of your brain receptors, so even though more dopamine is released, you’ll feel less pleasure. It’s because of this desensitizing effect that you feel an urge to watch more and more perverted scenes.
This imbalance in brain chemistry also affects your real relationships, and your everyday life. First of all, you’ll be less motivated to do anything else than to watch porn, because nothing else will get you your required amount of dopamine. Normal life will seem boring compared to this artificial excitement. Your real girlfriend will also seem less attractive than these made-up porn stars, and she won’t provide as much satisfaction as before. Excessive indulgence may even kill your overall drive to have sex in real life.
Experiments clearly show that your brain on porn is very similar to your brain on drugs. In both cases, the dopamine receptors are over-stimulated, and the area for self-control is under-functioning. Porn is an addiction like any other, and should be treated equally seriously. Especially if you’re on a spiritual path, I highly advise you against it, because you can never become fully conscious by being an addict at the same time.
Addiction is always a shadow aspect, and to fully eliminate it, you need to take a deep and honest look into your subconscious. It’s pretty obvious that if you watch porn, you miss sex in your own life. Women hooked on romantic movies miss romance, and kids addicted to video games miss adventure in real life.
Excessive pornography is especially detrimental to young children. Nowadays porn often serves as the first contact with sex, and it sets up all the wrong expectations. Boys may easily think that girls are just as overly sexual and easy to get as on the screen. When they get rejected again and again, they start to believe that there’s something wrong with them, and may stop trying altogether.
Even after they get the consent of the desired partner, they’re in for another surprise. Sex in real life is very much different from what’s shown in porn. Pornography is an artificial recreation of sex, in order to maximize the pleasure of the viewer. Just like in any other movie, they keep only the best parts and edit out the rest. In real life, not everybody has a perfect body, not every man can last for an hour, and not every woman has screaming orgasm. What counts is what works for you, what you enjoy, and not how well you can imitate others.
So instead of watching porn, go out and find a real sexual partner! Of course it’s harder and messier than simply clicking a button, but if you always choose the easy way out, it will prove to be a dead end in the end. The more porn you watch instead of pursuing real sex, the less chance you’ll have for real sex. By improving yourself, by developing your communication skills, by becoming more attractive, you have a real chance to grow not only in sexuality but in many other areas of life, as well.
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