Romantic love is part of the unconscious biological conditioning, and its goal is to make and raise children. The human species is a very peculiar one among mammals when it comes to the question of birth. The babies of other mammals are almost completely ready for life as soon as they leave the womb. The parents usually don’t live in a relationship, they meet only at the time of mating.
Human babies, on the other hand, are incapable of surviving on their own. They are totally dependent on their parents in the first years, and if the father leaves the family, their chance for survival decreases significantly. Romantic love is a huge evolutionary benefit, because not only does it drive humans to make babies in the first place, but it keeps them together in the long run, as well.
With this knowledge in mind, it makes sense that romantic love fades away with time. This kind of love is chemical in nature, and the hormones responsible for sexuality and bonding feelings only last for a while. The primary neurochemicals that govern these drives are testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin. The pink clouds disappear from the mind when the hormonal levels decrease in the body.
Besides, romantic love is also very much egoistic. You feel a need to have sex because your unconscious conditioning tells you to procreate. You feel a need to be loved, because you don’t truly love yourself, and you feel a void. You feel a need to be with somebody else because you cannot enjoy your own company. If your partner can fill these needs, you feel love. If not, you feel hatred, and you search for somebody else. You don’t really love the other, you only love what the other can give you.
Pure love is essentially different because it doesn’t have an opposite. It is a higher form of love, beyond the realm of emotions. Pure love is not based on asking, it is based on giving. The source of unconditional love is not conditioning, but your being. Pure love pours love on anyone without conditions.
Sex without pure love is like mutual masturbation: you scratch my back, I scratch yours. It is possible to have sex based on pure love instead of romantic love, but this kind of act is very rare. Not only sexuality, but the whole relationship will change. It will be more like an intimate friendship, without attachment, jealousy, and hatred. Only then can the partners become real lovers.
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