You have to learn the art of letting go, and the easiest place to start is your breath. You do it all the time anyway, even when you are asleep. Yes, breathing in is life, and breathing out is death; remember this, and accept it. Just be a little more conscious, and become more aware of exhalation. Concentrating on breathing out rather than breathing in will enhance this process.
Sex and death: these are the two poles of life. They are also the two major taboos that everybody is reluctant to speak about. With each inhalation, you connect yourself to sex, and with each exhalation to death. In every breathing cycle, you can touch the two poles of life, you die and get reborn every minute through your breaths.
The problem is that you don’t want to touch the two poles, you don’t want to go to the extremes. You want to stay in the middle because it gives you the illusion of comfort and security. You are scared both to die and to truly live, so you are afraid to really breathe. You fear the unknown depths of life, so you also fear to take deep breaths.
What you may not know yet, is that exhalation is equal to relaxation, and death is the ultimate relaxation. If you think about it, it is natural. Whenever something joyful happens, you also say ah, because you become relaxed. So, whenever you want to relax, you breathe out with the sound of ah, as if inviting death.
All the time, your mind is full of problems, and you are full of tension. When it is too much, you want to go to the other pole, because the burden of life has become too heavy. In joyful moments, this tension disappears completely, because your mind stops for a moment. Of course, it comes back almost immediately, because your mind thrives on tension, it cannot exist without problems. Relaxation happens in those rare moments when your mind ceases to exist. The whole pleasure is caused by the death of the mind, by getting into a silent, thoughtless, deathless space of your being.
Always remember that inhalation is tension, and exhalation is relaxation. So, practice becoming aware of breathing out deeply, emptying even the last bit of air from your system. For a couple of cycles, make exhalation voluntary, and let inhalation become automatic. Forget inhalation completely, focus only on letting go of air. With this simple exercise, your whole attitude will change towards life and death.
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