The Need to Return to The Womb

You were living for 9 months in the womb, and you already forgot about it. However, this was one of the most important experiences in your life, and it still affects you subconsciously. Your life did not start with the birth; at that time you only appeared in the world. Before that, your whole world consisted solely of the womb. This forgotten world was Paradise itself for you, you were living in complete happiness.

All your desires were fulfilled so quickly, that you were not even conscious of them. Your mom was eating, drinking and even breathing instead of you. You were in complete security inside the womb, you did not have to worry about survival at all. You did not have a past or a future, you were living in the timeless now. You were in a perfect physical and emotional harmony with your mom, who meant the world to you back then.

Then the time came for you to be born. However, from your perspective, this was not a birth, but a death. The world you had known so far ended abruptly. You had to leave behind all the comfort, safety, tenderness, and warmth. Your birth was the biggest shock in your life from which you still have not recovered from.

First, you were separated from the womb, then they cut the umbilical cord. With this, the direct physical connection with your mother was also cut. But at least you could take a rest in her soft lap, and you could suck the warm milk. But later on, this state also ended. First, you had to breathe on your own, then drinking and eating was also up to you.

Your safe home and the closeness of your mother still offered an alternative to the womb. However, when you had to start pre-school, you were forced to leave both behind every day. And when your education was finished, and you started working, your money supply was also cut, just like the umbilical cord before. The money represents safety and food, and you have to provide it for yourself now.

The last connection, the emotional one with your mother, is broken when you first fall in love with a girl. Lastly, you minimize the connection with your mom, when you move out from home. This cycle repeats itself when you make a new family with this girl, and she becomes pregnant with your child.

This cycle is the play of unification and separation, one thing changing to its opposite. However far you get from your mother and from the womb, you will always want to go back. The life in the womb is the Lost Paradise itself. You lived those 9 months in perfect happiness and oneness, but when it passed, you were thrown out of Heaven. You were thrown into duality both physically and spiritually. Unconsciously your whole life is about trying to return to the womb in one way or another.

The Christian idea of Paradise is compelling because you already experienced it. You want to be in this state on every level: physically, emotionally and spiritually. Your cradle and your grave, your first and last resting place in this world, both represent the womb. Otherwise, why would people make the coffin soft and comfortable for a dead body that doesn’t feel anything? From the cradle to the grave, you are searching for the womb.

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Memento Mori!