Understanding Non-Attachment

If you truly understand that only change is constant, non-attachment will come easily. It is the door to truly accepting death and letting go of your ego. The ego keeps itself alive by getting attached to objects, people, situations, experiences, memories, projections, and ideas. The ego creates borders around life, around you.

It cannot accept infinity, so it defines itself with more concrete things. These attachments define the ego, and if you are living through your ego, these attachments define you. If you let go of these identifications, you suddenly wouldn’t know who you are.

So the ego is really afraid of non-attachment because it ultimately means its death. But if you truly understand that everything is changing in life, then non-attachment comes naturally to you. How could you keep something in your life forever when the nature of everything is change? Instead of feeling loss time and time again, I advise you to lose yourself altogether at once. Losing yourself is the only way of finding yourself.

When you lose someone or something important to you, you almost feel like you lost a part of yourself. In fact, you really lost a part of your ego, and it feels wounded. The essential problem is not loss, it is attachment.

It is a huge ignorance in life to identify yourself with something that you know is going to die. But still, you identify yourself with your body, with your emotions, or with your mind. You identify yourself as a father or a mother, as a child, as a worker, as being poor or being rich, as being a good person and as thousand other things.

Disidentify yourself from all of these ideas. But pay attention, I don’t say deny them! Denial would only mean that you repress attachment even deeper to the subconscious, and non-attachment would be even more difficult. Just see and understand the natural reality of things.

Accept that anything that is currently in your life will ultimately disappear. Exactly because of this, value them even more. Enjoy them immensely until they are there, just don’t get attached to them.

You have to learn the art of love without attachment. Loving somebody without need. When the source of love is need, then you are bound to get attached to the subject of your love. But when the source of love is an overflowing of happiness, your love does not have any object. In fact, you yourself become love. Real love is not selective, whoever and whatever is in your life, receives from it. Even though you love even more, you don’t get attached to the objects of love.

You also have to learn the art of acceptance and letting go. Whatever comes in your life, accept it. And whatever leaves your life, accept it, too. Acceptance is positive, letting go is negative, but they are the two sides of the same coin. If you learn acceptance, you learn letting go at the same time. The greatest achievement in life is to let go of your ego and accept death.

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Memento Mori!