Desire Is Not The Root of Suffering

So, how does acceptance come together with desire? The first thing to understand is that having desires is not bad. This is a common misunderstanding that causes much suffering. Life wouldn’t exist without the desire to live, you wouldn’t exist without the desire to procreate, and you wouldn’t be here without the desire for truth.

Craving is bad, the attachment to the outcome is bad, postponing happiness into the future is bad. The problem is not desire, but attachment to the result. A non-attached person will be at peace equally with a desire being met or not. Become an open space willing to receive all experience.

You cannot unwant what you want, and you cannot want it less. Desire is only the cause of suffering, if it remains a desire. First, distinguish your true desires from your fake ones. Fake desires come from fear, from trying to stand up to expectations, trying to survive, trying to get love. They come from what others desire you to do or to be.

You learned how to eliminate false desires by standing up to yourself, by loving yourself, by being authentic to yourself. Dropping your ego, and using the tool of death awareness helped you realize what you truly wanted. This way, most of your false desires ceased to exist, so ceased to be the cause of suffering.

However, even after this purification process a number of desires still remain with you. These can be completely new ones, or formerly hidden desires that you pushed into the subconscious. These are in fact your true desires, in other words, this is your true will, your path, your destiny. You are already in the phase of individuality, on the way of self-actualization and self-realization.

True desire is the synonym for intuition. Intuition is the internal guidance system that helps you realize and express yourself. Only following your true desire do you experience passion. And only through passion can you fulfill your destiny.

What causes suffering is rejecting your true desire. What causes suffering is knowing that you desire something, but thinking that you shouldn’t desire it. What causes suffering is when a desire remains a desire. You can transmute a true desire only by transforming it into action.

My main point is this: accept your desire! You must have heard that you were supposed to accept the present moment totally. Desire is also part of the present, so don’t make an exception! Desire and acceptance were meant to be in a dynamically changing state of balance in every moment.

The present moment is not static, it is always changing. Don’t just accept the now, accept that it is changing moment by moment. You can be and you should be in the present moment. But all the fun of life would be taken away if all the moments were the same.

Then it would be called death. Be in the moment, but allow the moment to change, to be different every time. Even if you don’t allow it, it is changing. So, embrace the change.

You can think of it like the difference between a movie and a photo. Do you want to look at a single image all your life, or do you want to watch a movie unfolding full of adventure and mystery? It is true, that the movie consists of single images, just like reality consists of individual moments. You are watching one image after the other, and this creates the illusion of a motion picture.

This way, there is no contradiction between a movie and a photo. You are always focusing on one image at a time, yet there is also movement. The same way, you can be in the now from moment to moment, without any resistance to change.

If you create your own reality, then the only way to change it starts with a desire. True desire is what moves your own movie forward, and if you are conscious, you can create the life you truly wish for. Life is about growth, and true desire is the source of growth. So, when you resist your desire, you resist life itself.

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Memento Mori!