Don’t Believe in Yourself

Do you want to know how to elminate self-doubt once and for all? If you search for other people’s advice, they’ll all tell you to believe in yourself more. But if you listen to them, you’ll only overcome self-doubt momentarily, and you’ll never be free from it completely. What I’m proposing instead is just the opposite. The problem is not that you have some self-doubt, the real problem is that you don’t doubt yourself enough.

You see, the root of the problem is that you only believe in yourself instead of knowing yourself. You might argue that this is not true, because you know your strenghts and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, and so on. But this is not what I mean. These are only things that you know about yourself, and it shouldn’t be confused with direct self-knowledge.

Your personality is just a collection of beliefs you hold about yourself. It exists only in the realm of thinking, it’s just a concept you were raised to believe in. It’s just borrowed knowledge, it’s not really yours. And where there’s belief, there’s also doubt, they go hand-in-hand. So until you believe in your personality, there will always be self-doubt.

Most people will tell you that if you have self-doubt, you should believe in yourself. What they’re really suggesting is to repress your doubts, to come to a superficial affirmation of your identity. But anything you repress only becomes unconscious, and it can explode in any moment. Your conscious self-doubt turns into a hidden limiting belief, that controls your every action from the background in a negative way.

It also takes away a lot of mental energy to supress the doubt forcibly. That’s why some people say that they strongly believe. It simply means that there’s a huge amount of doubt they repress strongly. These kind of people become fanatics. They have repressed all their doubts and they seem very sure in themselves. But they are not true seers, only blind believers.

If self-doubt overpowers your self-belief, you become depressed and paralyzed, unable to take any action. While fanatics are capable of anything, you become capable of nothing. This simply means that you moved to the other extreme, but you still haven’t risen beyond the root of the problem.

What you call self-doubt is not true doubt, it is simply a negative belief about yourself. Instead of remaining open about the true nature of who you are, you prematurely jump to a conclusion, and become closed. And the biggest mistake you can commit against yourself is to believe your beliefs about yourself. That’s why you have to doubt even your doubts, until all doubts and beliefs disappear.

The other faulty advice you can often hear is to just be yourself. But how could you be yourself, when you don’t even know yourself? When you’re living your life out of a personality, being yourself would just again mean going back to your old beliefs. Clearly, this wouldn’t solve the problem, because like I mentioned, beliefs always come with doubts.

Self-doubt is not as negative as it might seem first. It’s actually beneficial sometimes that you don’t know what to do next. If you act based on your personality, in other words, based on your false beliefs, the result will always be a disaster. Living your life based on your ego is the root cause of suffering. So until you can overcome your ego, it’s actually better not to do anything, or at least not to make life-altering decisions.

True self-doubt is not about questioning the qualities of your personality, it’s about questioning your personality itself. It’s not about wondering whether you’re good or bad, it’s about wondering whether you exist in the first place. It’s not about doubting something about yourself, it’s about doubting your self directly.

And remember: once you drop all beliefs, all your doubts will drop by themselves, as well. You’ll transcend both beliefs and doubts, and you’ll experience yourself directly. But the way is not to increase your belief, but to increase your doubt. About how to do this in practice, I created another episode titled: “I don’t believe in anything”.

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Memento Mori!