If you chose a dysfunctional response in the past just once, it could easily become an automatic dysfunctional reaction to every similar triggering event in the future. For example, you may have successfully changed somebody’s behavior by becoming angry. Your mind now evaluates this behavior as effective, even though it is dysfunctional. Instead of trying to find better alternatives to cooperate with others, your subconscious will always choose anger just because it worked once.
So, this pattern that comes from laziness makes you narrow-minded and unable to change. Your mind simply wanted you to become more effective, and it doesn’t even realize that it made you less so. This whole process is unconscious, and until it stays so, it cannot be changed. This is why you become angry every time others don’t do what you want them to do in this example. This is why you seem to lose control, and feel like you are almost a different person. You are controlled by your programs, while your real self is asleep.
The brain is like a computer, and while most of its structure is the same, everyone is wired differently. Different brain cells attach to each other in different ways in every brain and thus create a totally unique network. Thus, the same event can trigger different reactions from different people, based on the differences in the brain cell connections.
If you become more conscious, you can learn to modify these connections, which will cause a change not only in your thinking pattern, but a real physical change in your brain structure, as well. For example, with the help of hypnosis, you can learn to dissociate the sight of a spider – the triggering event – from the feeling of fear – the unconscious reaction. You can rewire your brain through constant conditioning and reinforcing – the same way it was wired in the first place.
Until you are not conscious, you are just a machine defined by its programs. These programs define your personality, your goals, your reactions, your behavior, your fears and desires, and everything you say, do or even think. If you don’t just want to remain a machine, but a totally conscious human being, the machine inside you has to awaken to self-awareness. This doesn’t mean that you have to think something new about yourself or become somebody else.
The rise of self-awareness means realizing that you are not equal to your programs, but the one running them. You are the one sitting in front of the computer and controlling it. You are the one completely free to start, stop, rewrite or delete any program. What is more, you can even switch off the whole computer, and stop the functioning of the mind. You are the one in control.
You have to separate yourself from these programs, create a certain distance from them to be able to discover yourself. So far, you have identified yourself with these patterns and gave them too much energy. They stole your attention, they hypnotized you into a deep trance, until you completely forgot about yourself.
You made yourself into a robot, and others helped you, too. When you were still young, innocent and defenseless, they uploaded these programs into your mind and made you a slave to them. Now only you can reclaim your freedom and become innocent again.
If you continue to live according to your programs, you remain completely predictable. Self-awareness requires a totally new kind of living based on spontaneity. If your programs continue to control you, nothing new can enter your life. But life is about constant renewal, and even survival requires continuous adaptation. Forget your programs, forget the past, and forget even your own labels about yourself.
Don’t react, respond. The meaning of reaction is in the name: you repeat an action. If your life is full of reactions, it will be repetitious and boring. When you react, you don’t feel responsible for your actions, but you still feel guilty afterwards. But when you respond, you give a certain response to a certain situation. You would be considered stupid if you replied every question with the same answer, wouldn’t you? But you are doing it anyway unconsciously. The only way to be really responsible is to respond instead of react.
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Memento Mori!




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