What most people fail to tell you about spiritual awakening is that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but more like a foggy Monday morning, especially in the beginning. Before the love and light can arrive, you have to go through a painful phase of doom and gloom.
But the leaders of the feel-good spirituality movement won’t mention these seemingly negative effects, they actually describe the beautiful results of awakening, and not its ugly process. So, if you’re experiencing the following awakening symptoms, don’t be surprised! Nothing is wrong, you were simply misinformed.
During spiritual awakening, you tend to question life – your life and life in general, and begin to contemplate about death. Some naive teachers suppose that you’ll just magically find the answers to your profound questions, or they throw nice-sounding but meaningless cliches at you, like the meaning of life is to be happy, or that death is just an illusion. But these simplistic statements won’t really help you in the midst of an existential crisis.
In my experience, people tend to react in basically two ways to the heightened awareness of death during awakening: they either want to die, or they want to live forever. Subconsciously, what both groups truly desire, often without realizing it, is the very same thing: a state of egolessness. Let me explain.
Like I just mentioned, the second painful and unfortunate symptom of awakening is wanting to kill yourself, to quit life altogether, to live on another planet – and not a feeling of fulfillment and contentment like others will tell you. It’s crucial to understand what lies behind these suicidal thoughts, and even more crucial not to act on them. In reality, you are not fed up with your life, you are fed up with your ego, and there’s a big difference.
The third sign, which is the opposite reaction, is an increased fear of death – and not fearlessness like they want you to believe. You are normally living with a huge death denial, and as you’re awakening, these artificial coping mechanisms are starting to break down. You may start to desire immortality, or adopt spiritual beliefs about the afterlife to reassure yourself. But I highly urge you not to do that!
Awakening is a destructive process. It has to destroy your dreams, it has to disturb your sleep, otherwise how would you wake up? And a big part of your dream is your ego, so for your ego, awakening is a nightmare. It can already sense its demise, so don’t try to hold it back! Let it fall into oblivion, let it die, and let the fear be with you for a moment.
If we die anyway, then what’s the point of living? Your ego will constantly ask you this mind-numbing question, but you shouldn’t fall for it! From your ego’s perspective, there’s really no point, and only your Higher Self can answer this question. Until you don’t break through it, you’ll probably experience meaninglessness, and will be very far from finding your purpose – which is another thing they don’t want you to know.
The fifth painful spiritual awakening symptom is confusion: the very opposite of clarity. It’s not true that you’ll immediately live from a higher place of consciousness, you will rather think that you’re going crazy. Your emotions will be all over the place, your energy will be out of balance, you will question everything that you believed to be true so far. The Sun always shines above the clouds, but until you’re still in the clouds, it’s hard to tell the difference between left and right.
Bliss, hope, peace and love: these will all elude you in the first phase of awakening. What you get instead is pain, hopelessness, fear and anxiety. It’s important to keep your head up in this emotional turmoil, and accept it as part of the process. Your task is not to worry about the future right now, but to be with your feelings unconditionally, no matter how tough it gets.
Your emotional sensitivity is greatly heightened, but for some people, it just gets too much. The old, repressed, painful emotions are bubbling up into your consciousness, one after the other. The biggest mistake people make at this point is they bypass these feelings and numb themselves to them. In this case, the sensitivity backfires, and you tune out – either by drugs or without them.
Most other teachers will tell you that the biggest benefit of spiritual awakening is the feeling of oneness and connectedness with everything in the universe. While that’s true at the time of enlightenment, but couldn’t be further from the truth until you’re only awakening. What you’ll probably experience instead is an overwhelming disconnection from everything and everyone else.
Thus, the ninth painful awakening symptom is a feeling of loneliness and disconnectedness. You’ll generally want to avoid people, you’ll be even disgusted by some. You may feel that nobody understands you, that you’re strange and weird, and you may feel all alone in the world, almost like a social outcast. There’s nothing wrong with you, you simply need to listen to your intuition and spend some time in solitude, and learn to enjoy your own company for a while.
Otherworldly joy and unclouded happiness: that’s what you experience at the end of awakening, but not at the beginning. At first, you’ll probably have to sift through a thick black cloud of sadness and depression that will weigh on your shoulders whereever you go. The burden you’re carrying around is really just your ego, and when you decide to drop it, you will finally breathe freely again.
And the last painful sign of spiritual awakening you may experience is connected to your circumstances. And I don’t mean the positive coincidences they refer to as synchronicity. I mean your life will be falling apart in one way or another, in the form of a trauma, loss or other seemingly negative event.
Although it may seem like a catastrophe right now, when you look back, you’ll realize that this might have been the final push you needed to wake up from your spiritual sleep. After all, there’s nothing better to wake you up than a terrifying nightmare. And when you’re woke, you’ll just laugh at the whole matter anyway.
In this free report, I’ll reveal my number one secret to spiritual enlightenment that almost nobody else speaks about. Download it now below, to find out what it is! I can guarantee you, you’ll be surprised!
Memento Mori!
Peter Bruce
July 21, 2020 (00:14)
Thank you, this clarifies my own experience on the spiritual path. At the time, I was unable to make sense of it. I was so excited about the idea of death to extend that it no longer frightened me. I experienced the nothingness of it all and from that flowed with life.
Gabriel Dee
August 14, 2020 (02:53)
That’s good to hear!