Shallow breathing is the number one reason women are frigid or cannot reach orgasm. They don’t permit themselves to feel sensuality and pleasure because they have a negative emotion attached to it. They don’t want to open themselves up because they subconsciously know that pain is waiting for them underneath the thick layer of the defense mechanism. They choose not to feel anything at all, and then they wonder why they are frustrated.
Some people have shallow breathing because they feel shame when they become sexually aroused. In their minds, sexuality is attached to guilt, and they want to hide it from others. When you are in a sexual act, either with your partner or alone, and somebody suddenly enters the room, the first thing that happens is that your breath stops. You gasp, take a shallow breath, and your belly muscles tighten.
In contrast, when you are at the top of orgasm, you let go of all the air in your body and breathe out with the sound of ah. This sound is the sign of relaxation, of letting go not only of air but all the guilt, tension, accumulated energy and suppressed emotions, as well. You have to re-learn the art of letting in and letting out air, and this will transform your whole emotional and sexual life.
You have to start breathing from your belly like you were normally supposed to. First, practice breathing the wrong way, so you will know the difference. Put your hands on your chest, and feel it moving in and out. Observe how much energy you need to breathe this way, and how wasteful it is.
Later, put your hands on your belly, and relax your abdomen. Feel your belly moving in and out, and observe how your chest almost doesn’t move at all. Notice how much easier it is to take long deep breaths this way. If you do just a couple belly breaths, you become calm and relaxed instantly. You can use this small trick in your everyday life when you become angry or agitated.
You have been avoiding your sexual and emotional center through shallow breathing so far. Now, you have to face any pain, shame, guilt and negative emotion you might find there. You can look at these as toxic waste material that you have to clear now with deep breathing through your belly. Deliberately place your consciousness into your navel, focus on it, explore it, be it.
After a couple of slow and deep breaths, you may feel a tingling sensation, a certain kind of warmth and even sexual arousal. This is a good sign, don’t be afraid of it. Touch your emotional center from within, observe the quality of energy in this area. Some yogis call this sensation tumo, or the inner fire. Fire up your senses, your sensuality and your sensitivity by going deep within through your breaths.
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